Query #1: This query letter was quite informal, so I obviously had established a relationship with the editor beforehand. Unfortunately, I didn't land an assignment from this letter, but it opened the door for me to submit actual manuscripts, one of which was published. If you're wondering how I had established a relationship with the editor, it was actually because I had applied for a job at her magazine. Even though she didn't hire me for the job, I made sure that I kept in touch with her - thus, a relationship was born, bringing in more assignments.
Query #2: This was a much more formal query letter, which I had written to an editor I had not previously had a relationship with. By visiting the magazine's website, I found out that they preferred first time writers to send both a cover letter and a query letter. Although I did not receive an assignment off of this query letter, the editor responded to me by encouraging me to send in more ideas, pointing out which areas in the magazine they needed new writers for. Unfortunately, I became so busy with my writing quickly after, that I didn't follow up.
Query #3: Although it seems like I had a previous relationship with this editor, the only prior correspondence was in the form of another query letter, which had been rejected. Although I had been rejected the first time around, I seemed to prove myself in the second letter, which was accepted.
Query #1:
Hi X,
While brainstorming ideas for articles, I thought of something that I thought would be perfect for Young Rider. I know that you don't assign a lot of articles to freelancers - shows that I did my research on the magazine and what they were looking for beforehand, but I thought I'd send you my idea anyways. The topic of "Finding the Perfect Show Pony", "Buying Your First Horse" or "Finding a Horse For Your Child" has been written about millions of times, but while thinking about these various topics, I realized that nobody has ever really geared these articles to younger children. I'm sure that young rider - I didn't capitalize or italicize the magazine name, which means I didn't proofread very well. Editors don't like to see this in a query letter, because it shows that the writer can be careless. already has, but I was thinking about writing an article entitled "Are You Ready For Your First Horse?". I know - I have been using the phrase "I know" too much, which shows that I didn't proof my query before sending it out, which can break my chances of selling this story. that there are a lot of children out there that ride horses and read Young Rider, but who don't actually own a horse. Actually, reading magazines like Young Rider helps these kids to keep their dreams alive of owning a horse someday (I know this from my own childhood experiences, and because my husband has had many students that were horseless riders and read the magazine). I thought it would be a good idea to write an article for kids who are dreaming of someday owning a horse, but don't have one yet. - this shows that I know what demographic is reading the magazine. Here are some of the topics/questions that I would cover for readers:
-How many hours do you spend in the barn?
-What is your experience with horses? Have you learned the different aspects of caring for a horse, or do you only ride horses?
-Do you enjoy the different aspects of horse care, such as mucking stalls, feeding and watering your horses, etc.?
-Do you have reliable transportation (Mom, Dad, bike, etc.) that can take you to the barn to meet the farrier/vet?
-What is your schedule like? Do you have a lot of extracurricular activities after school/on the weekends? How important are these activities? Are they more important/less important to you than riding?
-What is your (or your parents') financial situation like? Taking care of a horse is very expensive: vet bills, farrier bills, board, etc.
(Giving the editor a brief outline of what I'd be writing shows them whether the topics would be accessible to the reader or not. Also shows them how the article would flow, and if it would work).
(Giving the editor a brief outline of what I'd be writing shows them whether the topics would be accessible to the reader or not. Also shows them how the article would flow, and if it would work).
After addressing these questions and concerns, I would discuss other options available to children/kids who might not be ready to buy their own horse. Some additional options would be becoming a working student or working in exchange for ride time and/or lessons (this allows kids to learn about the different aspects of horse care in preparation for owning a horse some day while getting to ride at a discount or for free) or leasing a horse. These additional options allow flexibility for children who don't have the money to buy a horse, or whose parents can't drive them to the barn all the time.
I don't think that this article would dissuade kids from wanting to buy a horse. Instead, it would make them understand what a big responsibility it is to own a horse, and hopefully allow them to find different options that will help them to bond with the animals that they love. I hope that you enjoy my ideas, and look forward to your response! (I always try to end on a positive note like this. By saying that I look forward to their response, editors are somehow guilted into responding to me, whether they decide to reject or accept my proposal. It's always a good idea to touch base with them if you don't hear from them within a month.)
Thank you,
Elisabeth
Query #2:
Dear Mr. X,
I am writing regarding the possibility of writing an article on New England Dogsledding for Yankee Magazine. I have been reading Yankee Magazine for years, and I would bring a lot to your magazine, as I have written for multiple publications upon earning my B.A. in English Literature in 2005.
I assure you that I am very qualified to work as a freelance writer for Yankee, as I have experience writing on a broad spectrum of topics for the Horsemen's Yankee Pedlar [not related to the magazine] while interning there during my senior year of college. I am also currently doing freelance work as a sports writer for various newspapers throughout Massachusetts, including the Charlton Villager, Blackstone Valley Tribune, Auburn News and Spencer New Leader. (This is a good body paragraph for a cover letter - it shows what I am capable of writing, and what I have written in the past)
I have attached various samples of articles I have written for the Pedlar, and the various newspapers I have written for. I welcome speaking with you in the near future regarding writing for Yankee Magazine. (This is another important paragraph, mentioning clips).
Sincerely,
Elisabeth Gilbride
Dear Mr. X,
In Mason Township, Maine, dogs are used as a mode of transportation. (This is a good starter sentence for a query letter because it grabs the readers attention, just as you would want to grab the readers' attention in the opening paragraph of a an article). New England Dogsledding gives tours to both children and adults, educating them on the adventurous sport. This allows both locals and tourists to experience an incredibly exciting outdoor sport, which is often overlooked by many people who are too busy in today’s society to take a moment and enjoy adventure in the wild outdoors.
New England Dogsledding offers an incredible experience through different mushing options, as well as skijoring, where guests cross country ski with either their own dogs (or dogs provided by New England Dogsledding) pulling them. (By using terms like mushing and skijoring, and explaining what they are, it shows I have done my research). Both skier and dog are attached with a harness, which allows for an incredible opportunity. Another feature that makes this a unique experience is the fact that New England Dogsledding provides for accommodations at the Telemark Inn, a wilderness lodge that offers a rustic backdrop, making it quite comparable with its country setting.
I would like to cover an article for Yankee Magazine regarding the extraordinary experience that New England Dogsledding has to offer. With winter starting in a little over a month, this would be the perfect time for Yankee to consider an article like this. (I mentioned why it is important to cover this topic at this specific time, which editors like to hear). Both pet lovers and outdoorsmen would be interested in reading this article, and the demographics of many of your consumers fit either of those categories. (Again, I am showing the editor I have done research on the magazine - I know the demographics of the readers) Having one dog and a horse, I am an avid animal lover myself, which is why I would be the perfect candidate to write an article such as this one. (Here I am showing the editor why I should be the person writing the article). I would like to write between approximately a thousand to fifteen hundred words, and plan on providing photos, but as I am a flexible writer, the article can be longer or shorter if you prefer. (This sentence can be both strong and weak, because I am telling the editor how long I would want the article to be - some editors like to hear this, others would rather just assign you a word count. This is something that I typically leave out now and let the editor decide how long the piece would be). Because winter is so close upon us, I plan on attending a mushing event in early December, and getting the article to you within a week later, so you can feature it in your magazine by mid-winter. I have already made initial contact with Steve Crone at New England Dogsledding, and he was very receptive towards the idea of my writing an article. Please contact me at your earliest convenience, as I would like to submit a query to another magazine if you are not interested. (This can also work either for or against the writer, depending on the editor of the magazine. Some editors don't like the idea of the writer pitching the same idea to multiple magazines, but at the same time, they wouldn't rather have the writer be upfront about it).
Sincerely,
Elisabeth Gilbride
Query #3:
Dear X,
Thank you for your quick response to my query regarding the profile
on Morgan Adair. I have been thinking of potential people to write a
profile on for The Chronicle of the Horse, (The editor has obviously previously given me the go-ahead to send her more ideas) and there is nobody I would
enjoy writing about more than Luis Denizard. Lou has been operating
his stable, Delante Equestrian Center, in Smithfield, R.I., since 1998,
but his skills aren't limited to running his own stable or teaching
lessons. He is an exceptional rider, and his credentials prove this, as he just recently represented Puerto Rico at the 2007 Pan-Am Games in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, while riding the horse Nalando. Upon returning from the Pan-Am Games, Nalando contracted pneumonia, and is now taking a break. Denizard is also a USDF Bronze & Silver Medalist, a 2004 NEDA scholarship recipient, and a 2002 Major Anders Lindgren Scholarship Recipient. (This entire paragraph shows I have done my research on the person I would be profiling).
Lou is currently trying to qualify for the 2008 Olympics (selling point! If you can interview someone famous, an Olympic athlete, or potential Olympic athlete, I'd say you have a pretty good chance of landing the article - of course, timing is everything and I pitched the story six months before the Olympics) (he would be representing Puerto Rico, not the U.S.), and will be headed down to Florida in January to compete on Paige Finnegan's mare Karola 1. He is also taking two other horses with him: My Aleman, whom he is hoping to qualify for the 2010 Central American Games; and Paladin, whom he is hoping to move up to 3rd level. Lou not only shows at the national level, but also still competes locally, and teaches clinics in his
"spare time".
I have contacted Lou about the possibility of writing a profile on him for The Chronicle (again, poor proofing skill "The" should have been "the" and Chronicle should have been italicized), and he has been very receptive to the idea (this is good - if you are absolutely sure that you will be able to interview a person for the article (especially if they're famous or an Olympic athlete), mention it. You are more likely to land the article that way). I am hoping to approach the story from the standpoint that he is an American citizen that is representing the Commonwealth of Puerto Rico. He was the first person to represent Puerto Rico in the Pan Am Games,
and if he competes in the 2008 Olympics, he will be the first to represent Puerto Rico while in Beijing.
Although I understand you are very busy, I am hoping that you can respond to me at your earliest convenience, as I am hoping to schedule a time to interview him before he leaves for Florida in January. He will also be in Puerto Rico between December 9, and December 14, so I
would really like to schedule a time to meet with him as soon as possible. I have included a few article clips that I have written for the Horsemen's Yankee Pedlar (always be sure to mention any clips that you're including - and if you have GOOD clips, include them. If they're bad, DON'T INCLUDE THEM). I look forward to hearing back from you!
Best Wishes,
Elisabeth Gilbride
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